Personal Things to Work on in a Relationship to be a Better Partner

o you buy the same brand of toothpaste you used growing up? And…do you give love the same way you were given love growing up?

Whether we like it or not, how we grew up shapes how we love, how we relate, and maybe even the toothpaste brand we buy today. #ColgateForever

We’ve inherited so many things from our family which influence our core beliefs, behaviors, and our relationships - big time.

But unlike our genes, becoming aware of our core beliefs and how they influence our behavior can help us reflect on whether they serve or limit us. And then we can choose to make a change.
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Want to uncover some of your core beliefs? Get started with this little exercise - when you look at the attached image:

What’s your initial reaction to these images?

• Are you cynical or hopeful?
• Does it feel impossible or inspiring?
• Feeling motivated or deterred?
• Are you excited or anxious?

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We invite you to reflect on the whole spectrum of options that are alive inside you of now. Whatever you answered, and there’s no right or wrong, is the exact place to start and…

• Observe, without judgement.
• Get curious, with compassion.
• If you feel cynical, why? Where does it come from? Where did you learn it from? What is your belief about love? What could restore your trust in love?
• If you feel motivated, why? What’s the first thing you feel motivated to do? With whom? How do you feel about change? Where did you learn that?

If we want to make changes, we first need to get real about our current beliefs, and how they influence our actions.
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“True behavior change is identity change. When your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you are no longer pursuing behavior change. You are simply acting like the type of person you already believe yourself to be.” - James Clear

While it may not seem HUGE, the first step towards change is examining the thoughts we’ve adopted as truths, and re-evaluating if, and why, we still hold them as true. Who said they were true to begin with? Do you still believe them to be?

Every ‘tiny’ thought has its own ripple effect. Before we reach our desired destination of ‘heathy, happy relationship’, first we should probably check our engine.

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