How to Have a Good Relationship That Doesn't Feel Like Work

emember how folks used to stay in the same job for 30-50 years, and how growing up, we were not only encouraged, but told, that we needed a career.

Today feels like quite a 180, hey? The concept of ‘having a career’ has completely evolved. Staying in one job for longer than a few years is now the exception. Why the sudden change? Well, we want our careers to be meaningful places of growth rather than just a monthly paycheck. Our professional development has become both desired and required as a personal and collective need. After these last two years, we know just how dangerous stagnation can be.

Professionally, we strive for growth and opportunity. We read leadership books and listen to all the podcasts. We hire business coaches, and run side gigs galore. We want to climb the ladder, and we’re willing to learn, work overtime, dedicate our weekends, and prioritize work over our personal lives for the sake of our professional future. But, do we invest as much in our relational future?

Our relationships today suffer from so many outdated beliefs. The cringiest one is that marriage is “a ball and chain,” as if long term commitment is a prison we can never escape, something we are stuck with for life.

Whether you’re totally satisfied with your relationship, or feel like it could use some help, our relationships are neither a ball, or a chain - and it’s about time we stop minimizing our love with this language.

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If we’re willing to invest in ourselves for the sake of our professional development, why not set the same outlook for our relational development?

Couples therapist and clinical psychologist Dr. David Schnarch considers relationships a people growing mechanism. That means that your partner is a great source of personal development for you. And the more you invest in it, the healthier, happier, and more fulfilled you will feel on a daily basis.

The question is, are you willing to change the way you think about your relationship? What would dedication look like in your relationship if you were to copy/paste it from your work ethic?

Let’s swap the stagnant ball and chain belief for a fresh and exciting hand-glider. Let’s get as motivated and ambitious about our relationships as we are about our professional trajectory.

Let’s level up our love, people.

Now is the time.

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